Attention, shoppers:

To everybody clogging the aisles in the supermarket peering like Pasteur at the Corn Flakes label: It might be a speeding car in the parking lot, it might be a chunk of falling satellite or a vicious little virus that no amount of squinting will reveal, but one day something will get us all, and it won't be a rampaging gang of gluten and trans fat. Take off the bifocals, toss the stupid box of Froot Loops in your cart already and live -- and enjoy -- life.