Goodnight, America

I think we should change the holiday to Dependence Day. We can buy our firecrackers with food stamps and set them off with the matches we picked up with our cigarettes, also paid for with food stamps. And when the sparks set our section eight apartment on fire, we can all go out on the porch and get high on our medicinal marijuana. And when the porch collapses we can all go to the hospital on Uncle Sucker's dime, and when we get out we'll all Social Security ourselves into early retirement. It's the new American dream, baby. Pushing the cart is for chumps. Climb on up inside and take a load off.